Top 10 Worst Flex Hockey Draft Picks You Wouldn’t Trust to Carry Your Equipment, Let Alone Your Team

Ah, hockey — the glorious sport of speed, grit, and skill. But not everyone who laces up skates deserves to be on the ice. In fact, these ten players might be better off delivering Gatorade than playing. Here's our brutally honest, data driven Top 10 Worst Picks list.

10. Carter Klippenstein- (Minnesota: pick 102)

Imagine a defenseman who actively opens the door for opposing forwards. That’s Klippenstein — the only guy whose plus-minus stat is written in Roman numerals because the regular number system couldn’t handle it. Rumor has it, he's the reason coaches developed "healthy scratches."

9. Bogdan Pestretsov- (Washington: pick 98)

Bogdan has the uncanny ability to trip over the blue line with no one around. One scout described his skating style as “a giraffe on rollerblades in a wind tunnel.” The puck has filed a restraining order against him for neglect.

8. Aiden Lane- (Washington: pick 92)

Not to pile up too much on the caps here but I had no choice. Lane’s hockey IQ is so low, we’re not even sure he knows he’s playing a game. Once tried to ice the puck... during warm-ups. He’s the only player to complete a full 87 second shift without ever being within 18 feet of the puck.

7. Maxim Agafanov- (Los Angeles: pick 78)

His last name might sound like a Bond villain, but Maxim’s biggest crime is his shot accuracy. He once missed an open net so badly, it hit a Zamboni driver who was two rinks over. He plays hockey like he learned from YouTube — in 240p.

6. Mads Kongsbak Kylvo- (San Jose: pic 83)

I have a feeling this won't be the last we here of a SJ pick. With a name that long, you’d think he was trying to distract us from his stats. Mads is the kind of player who makes the bench look good. If stickhandling was a crime, he’d be found not guilty due to lack of evidence.

5. Nathan Behm- (Utah: pick 38)

Behm plays with the enthusiasm of a guy who just found out he was traded mid-game. His signature move is the “accidental own goal,” and his faceoff win percentage is roughly equal to the odds of being struck by lightning twice while eating poutine. He only has 8 total faceoff attempts but still, awful pick.

4. Lev Katsin- (Nashville: pick 80)

Lev is what happens when you let someone play NHL on Xbox for 5 minutes, then send them onto real ice. He has the awareness of a turnip and the speed of one too. In interviews, he often says he "brings energy to the team." We assume he means static electricity.

3. Roman Bausov- (San Jose: pick 91)

Roman plays like he’s trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube while skating. It’s almost impressive how consistently he makes the wrong play. One time he passed the puck to a referee and celebrated like it was a goal. He once blocked his own team’s shot.

2. Gustav Hillstrom- (Nashville: pick 59)

Gustav's hockey sense is like dial-up internet — painfully slow and often disconnected. Known for whiffing on one-timers with the same commitment most people reserve for dodging exes in public. He’s been on so many fourth lines he’s basically a Zamboni assistant.

1. Owen Conrad- (St.Louis: pick 54)

At number one, we have Owen Conrad — the undisputed heavyweight champion of hockey ineptitude. Watching Owen play is like watching someone try to do calculus while being chased by a moose. He holds the unique honor of leading the league in apologies per game. Owen once got a penalty for taunting while mistakenly attempting to high 5 the opposing team on a goal against.

This article was generated with AI, the article owner has zero liability. Any resemblance to real-life performance (tragic or otherwise) is purely coincidental — and funny. Please don't take this seriously… unless you're Owen Conrad, in which case, please stop apologizing.